We have all heard from girlfriends or stated ourselves:
- I won’t date married men
- I won’t be a therapist to my date
- I won’t date men who are separated
- I won’t sleep with a guy on the first date
The list can go on and on. We usually set these boundaries based on past experiences of heartache.
I think one major reason women fall into a relationship that doesn’t work is that we allow our boundaries to be penetrated. This may happen because we are lonely, we want company, we need to feel connected to someone and on and on. It could be that we never learned how to set a boundary or we are totally free and go blindly / open heartedly, where the opportunity knocks.
Whatever the case, the man has no clue there is a boundary—unless told or shown—and will proceed on his path when it comes to getting his demands and needs met, unless stopped, by you.
It is all very easy! The clearer the woman is with her boundaries the easier it is for the man to understand where his limits are. Which allows him to be the best he can be in the situation.
So don’t be afraid to ask if he is married. Hopefully he will be honest or your inner instinct will tell you he is lying. Don’t worry if you turn down someone in the middle of a divorce, they aren’t thinking clearly anyway and may never divorce.
Send clear signals and stick to them when it comes to dating.
The process in Manifest Your Mate will be testing your boundaries, right off the bat. So, get ready and be clear. Stick to them. Write them down, put them on your mirror, or wherever you have to. So you have reminders when the heat of romance turns up.
©2017, Joan Severance, all rights reserved.